When Film Stars Attack – Who Needs Critics?

It’s bad enough when on-line and print press gather eight-deep to pan a movie that most of us would have terminated at conception with a morning-after pill, but when actors from said films chime in with their own snipes, what are we to think? My first thought is, I’m glad you recognize the flaws, at least those that don’t directly point to your own culpability. My second thought is, dummy, did you read a treatment or script before signing on? My third thought is, remind me not to hire this bum for future work.

What other industry allows those in its employ to talk smack about the product? Well, maybe television, but that’s an extension of the problem described here. For recent history, we need only refer to the following – both Michael Keaton and George Clooney regretting their respective turns as Batman, Jackie Chan grousing in reference to the Rush Hour series, and Halle Berry (on the podium accepting an Academy Award, no less) dissing the Cat Woman gig that preceded her Best Actress role in Monster’s Ball. In each case, we have a headline player expressing buyer’s remorse over the voluntary and knowing acceptance of the circumstances for which they were cashing a particular paycheck. That sort of indignation belongs exclusively to us – the ticket-buying public. We’re not issuing a pass just because a starring actor agrees, after the fact, with consensus opinion.

Even more recently, Katherine Heigl spouted off to Vanity Fair about her role in the movie Knocked Up, not bashing the movie as much as the apparent disposition of her character. She complained of its “sexist portrayal” of women. Seriously …? In a movie entitled Knocked Up? Shocking, just shocking. Even allowing some slack for intent, in that her anticipated interview audience was primarily female, she comes off sounding exactly like the kind of person she portrayed: a shrew (her word, not mine). No wonder I found her so convincing in the role. The verdict is in, Katherine. We find you spoiled and ungrateful and sentence you to a lifetime of acting opportunities with tasteful nude scenes essential to the storyline.

With all that good stuff, we now have some Goode stuff – Matthew Goode, the male lead in the latest Amy Adams vehicle, Leap Year, telling the Daily Telegraph that the movie was “turgid” and “the worst film of 2010.” Firstly, Matthew, it’s a little early in the year to be accepting such an honor. The 99.9 percent of the viewing public who didn’t want to see it in a theater under any circumstance remain unaffected by your critique. Secondly, couldn’t you wait for the DVD release before unloading your personal torment on the world? Granted, most of the people pushing the buttons on those Big Red Boxes probably don’t know that turgid means pretentious; they probably think it means something nasty on the bottom of their shoes. And they certainly don’t need Webster’s to tell them what worst film of 2010 means.

This attitude flies in the face of our definition of commitment. Look that one up in the dictionary, Matthew. You, along with your whiny compatriots, need to understand that one should always stand with the team publicly, no matter what everyone else is saying, even when the results stink … especially if they stink. There is nothing honorable in disparaging any production on the basis of narrowly formed opinion, and when the quoted source originates from inside, it’s downright treacherous. Thankfully, the karmic wind generally shifts in the direction of blowhards. A future mention by Katherine Heigl that she found your lovemaking scenes with her "turgid" just might make our world whole again.